


dream

by dontstraytoofar



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Comfort, F/F, Fluff, god who got me into this show again, ps i just love comfort fics ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 05:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10210796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontstraytoofar/pseuds/dontstraytoofar
Summary: Both women are plagued by the darkness they endured. It’s kinda beautiful how both find a safe place in each other's arms.Ahome.





	

**Author's Note:**

> honestly i just restarted pll from s4 and i forgot how much im love spencer and hanna. for real, how is it they’re not married already from the amount of bickering they do? 
> 
> anyways, enjoy :) feedback is appreciated!
> 
> pps. set sometime after everything is done and they're all happy and nothing is bad. i suck at time lines

-

 

_we're never done with killing time_

_can I kill it with you?_

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

Honestly?

She never knew she could feel like this.

(It starts at the apex of her spine, it travels down, it melts her very bones with an electric warmth)

And it could scare her...well, it _does_ scare her, because it feels so familiar. An ache that sprang into her body unwillingly, in that room, covered in icy water and stinging currents along her skin. The screaming, oh god the _screaming._ It never feels like nearly a decade ago, it never feels far away; to Hanna, it’s _there._

At her shoulder, in her mind whispering to _feel_ it. Feel the _pain._ To never forget what it’s like to feel like you’ve lost everything.  

And then to...nothing.

Spencer came and then _nothing._

She tells it like this. It’s a phenomenon, unexplainable, incomprehensible. Like the universe or the ocean or the stars or the freckles like constellations across Spencers nose, she can’t explain how it’s _beautiful,_ how it’s real and it’s something Hanna can never, and will never, be able to understand.

Maybe that’s okay, maybe it’s some poetic shit the universe spouts to her like it’s sharing a secret only they can know; like soulmates or true loves or destiny or that feeling of your stomach dropping before doing something that _terrifies_ you.

Whatever it is, when she tries to explain to someone the curve of Spencer’s smile, the touch of her thin hands, raspy voice lulling her to sleep; how everything just makes _sense,_ she always finds herself biting her lip and frowning as she animates her hands. Groaning in defeat as she watches Aria or Emily or Alison look to her with a confused smile in question.

The first time Aria just chuckled, saying “It’s love Han. Get used to it”

Emily says it’s with a wistful look on her face, that it’s just how love works, ya know? “It’s like them bringing hot chocolate on winter mornings when you’re shivering and cold. They just _get_ it”

Alison doesn’t answer, she just says “I’m happy for you” as she leans across the table from Hanna with a sad small smile on her face.

Hanna guesses it’s different universally, maybe every version is unique, special; touchable and _real._ She doesn’t question it anymore, the universe kinda hates answering.

When she gets home, groaning as she slips off her heels from work, Spencer is cooking and sipping wine. Hair pulled into a messy ponytail and her work blazer tossed on the living room couch. Hanna slips her arms around her girlfriend’s waist, kissing into her neck and muttering “Damn I missed you” making Spencer chuckle and sink into her hold.

 “You talking to the cooking or me babe?”

Hanna laughs warmly into Spencer’s neck, and presses closer to her back; almost melting into the other.

This feeling, she thinks, is the answer she needs. Sometimes words aren’t enough. Sometimes she just _feels_ it and nothing and everything makes sense and destiny or fate has to relent.

(The nightmares begin three nights later. Hanna fucking hates the universe)

  


 

 

-

 

She wakes up with a gasp; chest thundering, breaths rapid and laboured and messy as she sits up straight. As if her body was separate to her mind.

She can’t feel the sheets beneath her, Spencer’s hair tickling her wrist, she can’t feel the person she loves next to her, the bed she lays on, not even the air she gasps in greedily. It’s all so numb, so _void;_ electricity flashes past her vision, her lips are dry and cracked again.

But it’s Spencer, Spencer who wakes and holds her close. Letting her hand worriedly settle on where her cheek and neck meet, wiping the tears that fall to her collarbones. She was crying? When did she-

 “Han? Hey, hey it’s okay baby…I’m here”

Hanna falls into the hold so readily, and she turns; burying her face into Spencer’s neck. She gasps out cries, the kind that makes her chest feel like cracking open. And she mutters words Spencer barely catches, that she hushes and soothes with her hands through Hanna’s hair.

Is she breaking? Is she falling apart?

 “Spence...he was..”

(Water. Electricity. Rinse and repeat. Hanna clutches to Spencer’s shirt as if it held her to the earth.)

 “Shh. It’s okay. I’m here, you’re not _there_ okay? Han,”

She feels Spencer's hands at her cheeks, guiding her to meet her eyes. And she _falls,_ for the deepness that they show. The _love_ they convey. And Spencer lets their foreheads touch, voice catching on the words and it makes Hanna close her eyes and realise that _maybe this hurts her too. Maybe they share a heart and a mind and maybe Spencer calls out for her like she does_.

 “You’re okay baby. You’re _okay”_

(Spencer says it to reassure Hanna, but with the way her voice cracks on the last word, how she whispers it so fervently, it sounds like she’s reassuring herself)

 

 

 

 

-

 

 “So,”

 “ _Han”_

 “What? I’ve said one word. _One”_

Spencer smirks, flipping the pages of the book she was reading as she watches out of the corner of her eye Hanna button her work shirt. Watching how her girlfriend rolls her eyes and sighs.

 “Yeah but I _know_ what you’re going to say”

Hanna crawls onto the bed, work shirt the only thing hugging her body and Spencer kinda gets lost in her eyes. _It’s not morally wrong to skip on a day of hearings and cases to spend it in bed with your love, right?_ But Hanna simply takes the book out of Spencer’s hand, throwing it behind her as she sits back on her heels. Spencer frowns, folds her arms and raises an eyebrow.

 “I was _reading_ that”

Hanna wrinkles her nose, glances back to the cover and proceeds to draw patterns on Spencer’s thigh.

 “I’m pretty sure Bukowski can wait”

Spencer fake gasps, and watches a content smile bloom on Hanna’s face. “I take offence Han”

 “Dork”

 “Guilty as charged”

Hanna can’t resist the urge to kiss her, so she does. The sunlight hits their skin with this _warmth,_ and as Spencer laughs into Hanna’s mouth after her girlfriend trails her hand to that _spot_ on her side; she has a passing thought, one that doesn’t leave her for the day.

 _This is where I want to be,_ she thinks. _Forever sounds good._

Hanna forgets what she was going to ask her, something about this new restaurant she’d been gushing to Spencer about for _days._ Instead, she mumbles against Spencer’s lips, saying “I love you” as the other woman plays with the ends of her short blonde hair.

Spencer flips their position, making Hanna laugh, and says “I love you too” as if it was so natural. Like breathing or blinking or talking.

(Like loving Hanna Marin was just part of existing)

Spencer’s okay with that.

More than okay.

 

 

 

-

 

 “Babe can you just, like, _pretend_ you’re having a good time?”

Spencer sighs, looking up from her drink to Hanna’s pleading puppy dog eyes. _Damn it._ Why Spencer let Hanna drag her to a club of all things is _beyond_ her. Loud. Sweaty. God, really _really_ bright. Did she mention the music of this generation sucks?

 “Oh that is _so_ not fair”

And Hanna innocently looks back, a small smile playing at her lips as Spencer whines. “You can’t pull the puppy eyes! That should be illegal in every state.”

Hanna chuckles, getting up from the stool across from Spencer and taking her hand. Smiling that smile, the one where she bites her bottom lip and swings Spencer's hand and oh she _knows_ she’s so getting her way.

 “Come on. Dance with me?”

Spencer could blame it on the long work day, tired wrists and sore legs from going through nearly twenty cases. It was partly why she was so adamant on not going for a night out, but sometimes she just thinks she was anatomically wired to melt whenever Hanna smiled. So instead she simply sighs, smiling slightly when it just makes Hanna brighten.

 “ _Fine._ But god, get them to play something from at _least_ the 2000’s”

Hanna looks to Spencer blankly, the other woman shrugging as if requesting _“The late nighties Greatest hits”_ for dancing with your girlfriend was the _perfect_ choice.

 “Do you hear yourself? Like, when you speak?”

Spencer rolls her eyes, tugging a laughing Hanna onto the dance floor. “Shut up”

 

 

 

-

 

The panic seizes during a transition into Nicki Minaj.

Oddly, Hanna didn’t really think she’d ever think _that_ sentence; but as her chest constricts, brain slowing down and breathing quickening, _panic_ is the only word coming to mind. A strobe light hits her eyes, and she can still feel Spencer dancing and laughing and holding her body close to her own as the music moves through them. Running her fingers through her hair as the alcohol runs it’s course.

It happens in an instant; Hanna’s holding to Spencer’s waist, laughing and falling into her neck as they move against the other. They’re seventeen again. Nothing but them and the music and the lights.

Oh god the _lights._

It hits Hanna like a train.

A blue strobe flash hits as the bass thumps, and all she can feel is electricity. Her spine, the water, the _cold._ She tries to gasp out to Spencer, body all together halting her dancing and her chest rising and falling rapidly; it takes the other woman a moment to realise the stop in pace. How Hanna is holding so tightly to Spencer that her nails make crescent shaped indents in her forearms.

Spencer immediately stops, and they are statues to the moving bodies around them. Spencer’s voice rolls over her in gentle waves, worried and deep as she frowns in concern. “Han? Hey what’s-”

 “Spence I c-can’t,” Hanna tries to take a breath, _anything,_ but her chest squeezes and her legs weaken and it isn’t until Spencer holds tighter does she realise she’s been leaning heavily on her girlfriend for support, her legs refusing to hold.

 “I can’t b-breathe”

Immediately, it dawns on Spencer, and she quietly and calmly draws patterns on Hanna’s skin. Distracting her from the feeling seizing her chest.

 “Just breathe, okay? In,” Spencer mimics the movement, and nods encouragingly when Hanna takes a stuttering breath, letting her thumb rub circles on the inside of her wrist.

 “And out,”

Hanna doesn’t remember the rest clearly. She recalls Spencer kissing her on the cheek as they got in the car, hushing her worries when Hanna repeated “I’m sorry I’m sorry” with soft gestures and quiet words. She remembers the feeling of Spencer’s chest, how she held to it so tightly on the way out of the club.

Hanna can remember falling asleep to Spencer singing, rough, soft, angel like. Something about wise men and fools and falling in love.

She burrows deeper into Spencer’s hold, her face in her neck, and shuts her eyes tightly; instead thinking of her lovers’ hold, her warmth, her voice, her touch.

 “I’m sorry I ruined date night”

She whispers it against Spencer’s collarbone, feeling the other woman’s warm chuckle against her cheek.

 “You didn’t ruin anything Hanna Banana”

Hanna snorts and pushes a laughing Spencer lightly on the chest, settling back down with “Really? All these years later?”

Spencer simply smiles, kissing Hanna lightly on the lips. Filling their hearts to the brim.

 “Always”

 


End file.
